Hey friend, how are you? Have you ever gotten to a stage in your life where you realize…you can never be like you were a few years ago? How did things change so drastically? Could I have done something different? Or no matter what I did, this would be the end result? That is where I am right now, but with my body.
About 5-6 years ago, I just started university and I was super petite, maybe around 145-150Lbs. I even thought I was kind big then, can you imagine. But anyway. I wanted so badly to look good, my hips to be the right size, my legs to be toned, my arms to not have any under fat, my face to not look chubby, and my stomach to have abs. Well… I did get all these things as soon as I started working out, and I mean, I was a gym rat. I even thought I could be a personal trainer, I really enjoyed getting fit. I was 19 at that time if I am not mistaken.
Life was good you know, apart from me loving my body, I knew other people loved how I looked too. I looked really good. I missed that you know. I really wondered where that energetic girl went, I could eat anything and work it out easily. Now, not so much.
I never understood how some people couldn’t lose weight back then and I just accepted that they were simply being lazy, didn’t care much about it. Became too comfortable. Now being in my silver jubilee years and struggling to lose weight, I can finally comprehend a lot of people. I understood two things: Mental & Comfort.
Mental: it is important for you to be in the right mindset. A lot of people cannot lose wright for many reasons I did not think of, such as stress. I noticed I was stressed a lot. I gave many excuses for not heading to the gym anymore. I mean yes, when the pandemic happened, I physically couldn’t go to the gym anymore, but it didn’t mean I couldn’t workout anymore, did it? The thought of doing any workouts in my room gave me anxiety and claustrophobic. I needed to feed my mind with enough self motivation and inspiration in order for me to do that. Bit by bit it was happening, but still I wasn’t satisfied…so then I learned the second thing.
Comfort: you HAVE to be comfortable with who you have become. Obviously, do not be comfy with the wrong things, but look at the positives. Yes I have gained weight, but I am not unhealthy. I am still good weight, I am not obese, I am still good. Most importantly, I still look good. Sure I have to work around some things such as what I can and cannot wear, but that is so small. I started to be comfortable in my own skin, in my new shape and body type and size. I am a plus size now and there is nothing wrong with it.
I still go to the gym but not to try to be that small fit girl I used to be, but a healthy, active and fit plus size girl now. I accept I like food, but I will manage how and what I eat moderately. I do not want to be that girl from 5 years ago. If I have to be honest, I look really beautiful now. I accept that every stage we get to in life, whatever it may look like, is beautiful.
- Christelle Katanda.